Belongingness

Lately, I have been thinking about the meaning of belonging. It is defined as “a strong and inevitable feeling that exists in human nature.”

I believe – the need for acceptance, connection, and to be part of something greater – goes beyond being human. For example, birds hang out together, innately they know they belong with each other.

Every time my man gives me a hug, kiddo joins in – it is now a family hug – Whenever I ask him, “did you have a good day, or are you hungry?” Our baby responds yes! with great conviction. – He is simply expressing his need to be included.

As we put our shoes on, Chiquita – our furry one – gets up, stretches, and shakes her body, (that’s how she brushes her hair.) She is ready and has decided she is also coming, after all, she is a part of the family – When we walk the neighborhood and encounter furry friends and their humans, she gets so happy, she can barely contain her joy. She knows she belongs to this community.

A two-way road

Two ladies from my Yoga class have been friends for over 30 years. They say sometimes, it takes an effort on their part to continue to do things together, (since they no longer live nearby nor work in the same place.) — How wonderful that through many years and life experiences, they have figured out a way to maintain their friendship.

Our need – to be included – forms a part of who we believe ourselves to be. Perhaps this varies according to our individual preferences, interests, and perspectives. — I have always believed myself to be an independent woman — not being included, sometimes doesn’t really bother me. I mean, I enjoy time to myself, perhaps more than others.

Still, it is sad to learn that we were not invited to an event or to a party when in the past we have been. — Maybe because we are parents now, or simply, I have yet to learn how to sustain a common ground with friends, as life changes.

So, where do I belong?

I was born and raised in central Mexico and came to the USA when I was 21. Back then, I was young and free enough to feel I did not need to belong. I felt welcomed and accepted anywhere and everywhere. I still do. — I am blessed for this. — Making new friends back then, was fairly easy, and I learned to build my own community, perhaps I thought it would always be this way.

At one time, I was the person my friends would call, “What is going on this weekend?” I always knew of different parties and events. – I was proud of this. – However, as life changes, I have found that community, interests, and friendships also change.

A few remain no matter the time and distance in between, yet I feel that oftentimes it is harder to maintain or to establish a new connection – it seemed effortless when I was younger – somehow it no longer feels that way.

Acceptance

We all share a desire to be included and to be loved, even if we are, we might not know it.

“The truth is: Belonging starts with self-acceptance. Your level of belonging, in fact, can never be greater than your level of self-acceptance, because believing that you are enough is what gives you the courage to be authentic, vulnerable and imperfect” 

– Brene Brown

I believe therein lies a deeper truth — to be explored individually as we shift and change and rediscover ourselves through life.

I still always appreciate knowing when others are listening, or perhaps watching albeit from a distance, and maybe even reading and following my blog posts. — I vow to you my friend, with deep gratitude.

❥ Namaste

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