I woke up three times last night in anticipation of today, I was so excited I didn’t want to miss my alarm. The first one was set for 4:55 am, and in case I missed it, the second one at 5:05 am — I almost didn’t need it since I kept waking up, wondering, is it time yet…? — As soon as it went off, I bounced out of bed, and in no time I was on my way.
My first day back into Yoga practice. “Mandala training” is called — 21 consecutive days of Bheemashakti Yoga, strength practice from 5:45-8 am.
A while back
I remember a Wednesday practice in the small green room at Ginseng Yoga – I had not been in that room in what seems like years, until this morning.
I had just completed a 100-hour / 10-day intensive training at Infinite Yoga, and so I had been skipping Beehmashakti practice during that time, which Johnatan, my late teacher, was questioning me about. That day, I was practicing titibasana (firefly pose) when I fell on my bottom, I noticed something “a little off” – no pain, simply “something” in my body. — That afternoon I learned I was pregnant.
How life changed
I had been teaching Yoga for a few years, and in addition to the classes I taught, I practiced 5-6 times per week, so my fitness level was great at the time. I continued to teach but only two classes a week throughout my pregnancy. — I stopped teaching power yoga one month before my baby was born, and gentle yoga one week before his arrival.
I thought it would take me a couple of weeks to rest, recuperate, and return to teaching, I simply had no idea what I was thinking. — I remember when I first returned to practice after my baby was born, it had been well over a year. My body was different, it felt different – I felt different in my body – It is still different and perhaps it will never be the same.
It has been almost 2.5 years and I have yet to return to teaching. My practice has been inconsistent, my strength has shifted, and everything is different now. I have allowed “life” to take over and somehow I forgot about “me” in the process.
Day 1 of 21
Today I was very excited to begin this journey, feeling my body through each exercise, listening to the instructor’s cues, and taking in the changes from what I remember, from what my body remembers. — I realize that no matter where I am in my practice, or my fitness level, I have always felt like “I can be stronger, I can be leaner, I can look better.” No matter how strong, lean, or fit I am at the time.
It is interesting how the mind works, the perception of self, and the expectations we set for ourselves. My late teacher used to tell me that I push myself – I know I do – I believe it can be a positive trait, yet it can also be not so good. The challenge is learning a balance between pushing and allowing.
Some say it takes 21 days to break or to create a habit. I say keeping the mind in check is a daily process, it takes mindful intention, consistent practice, focus, and dedication – remembering to “just be” accepting where we are, and allowing ourselves to progressively move forward. That’s how breakthroughs occur, by being present, by becoming aware and intentionally listening, and allowing the body to go where it needs to be. — One day at a time.
“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step” — Day 2, here I come!
❥ Namaste
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